She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize