You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
