Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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