Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just gift wrapped bread.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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