Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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