Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
