YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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