I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
