why do cheetos always look like penises
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
