This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
