Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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