Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I party with great urgency now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
