Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
