beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize