it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
