Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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