So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
