I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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