If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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