she kept yelling 'call me bella'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize