Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
