How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
