I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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