Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
