if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize