I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Two words: nipple clamps
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