it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
