You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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