Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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