Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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