this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
