It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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