Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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