Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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