high people should be assigned attendants
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I need water and some morals
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
