My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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