An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
