Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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