I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
