Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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