I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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