I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
