well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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