Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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