If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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