somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Farmville is her only friend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
