well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The air taste purple.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
