So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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