Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize