she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
