I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
