My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
