butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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