I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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