yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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