I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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