i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize