dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
