i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
