C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
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