I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
they're like a gay fantastic four
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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