Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
