is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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